Supposed to be coldest week of the year here so I thought this was appropriate...
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Wisconsin gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Wisconsin start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.