Supposed to be coldest week of the year here so I thought this was appropriate...
60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Wisconsin gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Wisconsin start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Wisconsin public schools will open 2 hours late.
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