Tuesday, February 24, 2009

An Interesting Job Listing on Craigslist

As seen on Craigslist...

Chisago County Sheriff (Center City, MN)

Reply to: jglassel@yahoo.com [?]
Date: 2009-02-09, 5:55PM CST

Wanted-One competent individual to lead the Chisago County Sheriff's Department. Good pay and benefits.

Good Old Boy Politicans need not apply. Chisago County needs a strong individual capable of providing Public Safety on a budget. Don't expect a jail to be named in your honor as Law Enforcement in Chisago County has nearly bankrupted the local citizenry.

This is an elected position which will require facing current Chisago County Sheriff Todd Rivard in the 2010 general election. I can provide positive name recognition throughout the County, but you will have to provide "boots on the ground."

Must relocate to Chisago County before October, 2010.

Your mission, should you accept it, is to run the drug dealers out of Chisago County and develop a comprehensive plan to eliminate deaths from drunken drivers in Chisago County. In doing so, you may let some jaywalkers off the hook.

Must be willing to ticket and jail County Commissioners arrested for drunk driving. It is not required to investigate the political enemies of those board members that support the new jail, nor are you required to cover up harrassment and stalking charges levied against a county commissioner.

Must gain control over the 911 call center to assure tapes are not lost.

You may not run up the score against the poor or collude with the county attorney and judges in an attempt to coerce the taxpayers into building a new jail.

My name is Jonathan P. Glassel. I publish the South County Epitaph. We are the "Last Word in Local News."

Serious inquiries only. Email jglassel@yahoo.com

Location: Center City, MN
Compensation: 100K Salary and percs equals a million dollars per term!
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


Midwest Mom said...

That is absolutely hilarious.

I wonder if it'll work?

Riley said...

I know some unemployed people....

actonbell said...

Oh, that's brilliant! Michael Feldman should start reading funny job descriptions on his show. I'd definitely send that one in:)

lime said...

i think i'd like to propose marriage to the poster....well, if i weren't already married

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

How sad--I bet that was as necessary as it sounds!

(Not a) Rodeo Mom said...

Having been employed in Chisago County this post is way to close to reality

Prunella Jones said...

But can they chase the Duke boys around in the General Lee? If so, what a dream job.

RennyBA said...

Do you think they would consider a Norwegian Viking? ;-)
Can I relay on an endorsement from You!

RennyBA's Terella

Eliane Z. said...

Hello Balou, I came to your blog as Caroline Smailes' 'blackboxes' referred me to you! So funny! I am a graphic designer too! in my (very) end forties. German but living in Ireland and raised in Brazil. Cheers Eliane

Jocelyn said...

I love the person who wrote this. Sure, there's a vein of anger there, but there's also honesty.

KFarmer said...

If only... :)

& thanks for the offer of help. I may just call on you. This thing is so different than anything I've ever used :)

Gayle's Joy In Life said...

Intense ad - I liked it. Nothing like asking for what you really want!

dmarks said...

Center City? That does not even sound like a real place. But it must be near Lake Woebegon.

TC said...

Hilarious!!!!!! I doubt it will work, but wouldn't it be grand to dream it might?